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Finding a voice in silence / Song Analysis #63: ‘Til Tuesday – Voices Carry

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You can Google and find the two most common explanations for the origin of ‘Til Tuesday’s ‘Voices Carry’ (here and here).  I’ve had a few musicians tell me that a song’s meaning should never be revealed, never quite as sweetly eloquently as “magicians should never reveal their secrets, should they?”  I would agree with that and also add that how you read a song’s lyrics and how they make you feel are influenced by your own experiences.

Two years after my father died, I took myself to see a therapist for the first time.  I knew his death hit me hard.  I read books on grief, but I often felt numb inside and didn’t know what to do.  Intellectually, I knew his death was affecting my daily life, I felt I didn’t have anyone I could turn to, and I wanted to take the appropriate action to help myself.  Therapy was at least worth a shot. 

I had a very clear idea in my head when I started therapy that I did not want to play the blame game.  Further, I was doing this for me.  I knew I was going to get flak about it from my mother.  There is a huge stigma in Chinese and Asian cultures around getting help for mental health.  It’s considered an admission of weakness if you have to go for help outside of yourself for your problems and worse, your family will lose face if the word gets out about it.  This concern about showing weakness also offers a good explanation to why there are far fewer divorces among Asian couples compared to their Causasian counterparts.

It would be some years later that I recognized this as akin to the British stiff upper lip.  I first saw in my first serious boyfriend and then again and again in friends and many of the men I’d meet and become friends with through my travels for There Goes the Fear.  My friends in Delphic and Everything Everything got involved early on in supporting the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).  After absorbing the stark statistic that suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in Britain, I felt a moral obligation to do something and started writing for CALM.

Today’s song is one I’ve sat with many a time because I felt Aimee Mann’s emotionally brutal lyrics spoke to me, but for much of my life, I never really understood why.  I remember having a conversation with my second therapist about the definition of trauma.  I had always assumed that trauma meant physical trauma, like sexual abuse or a soldier’s PTSD following an injury in the field.  I hadn’t considered mental trauma.  It took another 4 years and a painful falling out with a friend’s mother for me to come to terms with what I must have known subconsciously.  I was a child victim of emotional abandonment.  Like the clouds above me had parted, I then understood why today’s song left a lasting impact on me.  It was as if my parents had placed imaginary tape over my mouth when I was a child.  I did not feel safe telling them how I truly felt about anything outside of school or grades.  They didn’t seem to care about anything else.  

Many years later, when I met parents of bands and musicians who I helped promote through TGTF, I saw how proud they were of their children and their artistic efforts.  I would smile at them, but a part of me would die inside as I contemplated that as a child or even a young woman, I never got any of that support.  Therapy got me to the point where I was able to force myself out of my comfort zone and into the world, putting myself in social situations that were required for the Editor-in-Chief of an influential music website.  I did these things for me. TGTF helped me come out of my shell.  I finally had a voice.  My own voice.  A voice that I know made a difference.

I also wanted to feature this song here on Music in Notes because there has been a dramatic rise in domestic abuse during the COVID-19 pandemic due to the lockdowns because the abused are now having to shelter in place with their abuser.  If you or someone you know need help, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is a good resource to start with.  Just having to type this paragraph is making me tearful.  Please, please reach out and get help if you need it.  You may not feel this, but you have a voice.  There is someone out there who will listen.

Title: ‘Voices Carry’
Where to find it: ‘Voices Carry’ single and album (1985, Epic)
Performed by: ‘Til Tuesday
Words by: Aimee Mann

Verse 1
In the dark, I’d like to read his mind
But I’m frightened of the things I might find
Oh there must be something he’s thinking of
To tear him away, ay, ay
When I tell him that I’m falling in love
Why does he say

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Verse 2
I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I’ll get
Oh he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Bridge
He wants me
But only part of the time
He wants me
If he can keep me in line

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Outro
He said shut up, he said shut up
Oh God, can’t you keep it down
Voices carry
Voices carry
I wish he would let me talk

Wearing a mask protects the immunocompromised from COVID-19 / Song Analysis #62: Rob Thomas – Her Diamonds

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Mask-wearing mandates are new to the Western world.  In stark contrast, mask wearing is all too normal in Asia, where large, urban population centers have been prime breeding grounds for virus infection.  In Asia, many people who are ill wear a mask when they go out because they don’t want to risk infecting someone else, a concept that appears lost on too many on this side of the Pacific Ocean.

Illustrated by this image posted last week by @jennykeogh on Instagram, 40% of transmissions of COVID-19 happen before obvious visible symptoms.  As many healthcare professionals have already stressed, you could be in the presence of and close enough to someone who is not showing any signs of infection or distress from COVID-19 and get infected by the virus from them.  This is why we’re being told to wear masks any time we are out in public, even if we are able to appropriately social distance.  As a former biologist, I wear a mask because I would rather not risk the odds of getting infected or passing on the virus to another person.

Why is wearing a mask so important?  As the image also shows, wearing a mask is all about stopping yourself from unwittingly spreading the virus if you are an asymptomatic carrier.  Simply put, wearing a mask reduces the chance that you will give the virus to someone else.  Unfortunately, there have been too many cases in America already where people who have refused to wear masks in public settings have become aggressive and lashed out against mask-wearing mandates and the store employees trying to enforce them.  For some, the thought of wearing a mask is causing fear, driven by psychological and economic anxiety.  A great quote from this Psychology Today article: “If you’re reluctant to wear a mask when required, question any automatic thoughts about others trying to take away your freedom. Most likely their goal is just to keep everyone safe, not to make you buy into a certain worldview or to force you to eat arugula.”

But what if we reframed mask wearing as an act of compassion?  If we were dealing with a visible enemy, like a monster mosquito the size of a fist whose bite caused immediate medical distress, I don’t think we’d have too much trouble getting people to wear masks.  With COVID-19 being invisible, it is impossible to know if it is in front of us or not.

When I see someone walking with a cane or in a wheelchair or a woman heavily pregnant and approaching the doors to a building, my instinct is to open the door for them, and I hope you do, too.  You can physically see the person’s need for your help and assistance.  However, there are many people in the world who have suppressed or compromised immune systems whose illnesses are invisible to you.  Through the simple act of wearing a mask, you’re doing your part in protecting every single one of them who crosses your path from getting infected with COVID-19.  Today’s analysis is on a song written by and from the point of view of a man whose wife is suffering from debilitating chronic illness, an illness that may not be readily apparent to the casual observer.

Title: ‘Her Diamonds’
Where to find it: ‘Cradlesong’ and ‘Her Diamonds’ single (2009, Atlantic)
Performed by: Rob Thomas
Words by: Rob Thomas

Matchbox Twenty were hugely popular when I was in university.  If you ever listened to top 40 radio in the late ‘90s in the DC area, you couldn’t escape their latest single.  Every time I wake up at 3 AM in the morning now, yup, I think of that song.  My best friend at the time was obsessed with the band and Rob Thomas, so it’s not surprising I became a fan of theirs through osmosis.  In my third year of school, Thomas married model Marisol Maldonado.  This wasn’t your average “rock star marries model” relationship.  The couple’s love of animals eventually led to the founding of Sidewalk Angels, an animal advocacy not-for-profit.  To date, the foundation has raised more $1 million to help organizations in America and the Caribbean to care for and protect animals.

I think people have this mistaken idea that when a rock star (or other famous celebrity) marries someone “normal”, it must be a fairy tale.  All marriages, regardless of which husbands and wives we’re talking about, require hard work, and the Thomases had no idea what was ahead of them.  Marisol has been through an absolute nightmare of confounding doctors with “mysterious fever and hives,” hospitalizations, and hair loss and being incorrectly diagnosed, all the while knowing something was seriously wrong.  Though she was considered to have symptoms similar to the autoimmune disease lupus long before, it wasn’t until after surgery to remove a brain lesion in 2015 that she was tested for and diagnosed with late-stage neurological Lyme disease.  Diagnosis of other illnesses followed.

As any person with chronic illness will tell you, diagnosis is only half the battle.  I am not fond of the “spoon theory” because I find it depressing as a concept, but it is a good visual to give your family and friends an idea of how each day in your life might look different.  Personally, I find the debilitating fatigue that may exist with chronic illness one day and not another is one of the hardest things to explain.  How can you, when the next day you may look like you’re fighting fit and completely normal?  For the loved ones in your life, it may be difficult for them to relate and come to grips with your illness and how it can come to define you.  You may not be able to do the same things you used to or be the same energetic person that they remember.

I can relate to some of Rob’s worries and concerns for his wife because I have seen them in and heard them from my own parents.  I imagine writing ‘Her Diamonds’ was quite cathartic for him.  He describes his wife’s tears as “her diamonds on the floor”, parts of her that she has lost.  When you love someone, it’s only natural to want to remove your loved one’s pain and suffering but often times, we can’t.  He feels helpless (“And her diamonds bring me down / ‘Cause I can’t help her now”) because he can’t do anything: “And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do / But if she feels bad, then I do too / So I let her be”.  He hides his emotions from her because as the “healthy” one, he’s supposed to be the strong one: “So I sit down and I cry too / And don’t let her see.”

In the public eye as Rob Thomas’ wife, Marisol is valiantly fighting every day to live with chronic illness.  Every day is a struggle, but she is an inspiring role model because she never gives up and has hope that there will be a cure one day to relieve her of her suffering. I encourage you to read her heartfelt and inspiring speech from the 2017 Global Lyme Alliance New York Gala where she was honored here. 

Verse 1
Oh, what the hell she said
I just can’t win for losing
And she lays back down
Man, there’s so many times
I don’t know what I’m doing
Like I don’t know now

Pre-chorus 1
By the light of the moon
She rubs her eyes
Says it’s funny how the night
Can make you blind
I can just imagine
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
But if she feels bad, then I do too
So I let her be

Chorus
And she says oh
I can’t take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
‘Cause I can’t help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best but now she can’t win it
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

Verse 2
She sits down and stares into the distance
And it takes all night
And I know I could break her concentration
But it don’t feel right

Pre-chorus 2
By the light of the moon
She rubs her eyes
Sits down on the bed and starts to cry
And there’s something less about her
And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
So I sit down and I cry too
And don’t let her see

Chorus
And she says oh
I can’t take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
‘Cause I can’t help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best but now she can’t win it
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

Bridge
She shuts out the night
Tries to close her eyes
If she can find delight
She’ll be all right
She’ll be all right
Just not tonight

Chorus
And she says oh
I can’t take no more
Her tears like diamonds on the floor
And her diamonds bring me down
Cause I can’t help her now
She’s down in it
She tried her best but now she can’t win it
Hard to see them on the ground
Her diamonds falling down

Song Analysis #60: The Hollies – Bus Stop

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It’s Christmas time. Even if it wasn’t, I think we all need a break from the madness that’s going in our world. Fully considering both, the song I chose for today is from a simpler time, but it has an interesting back story.

Music editors, music journalists, and even musicians themselves these days often bemoan the lack of inspired songwriting hitting the top of the charts. It can feel pretty sobering to see the laundry list of songwriters, producers, and players on an album created in the 21st century album because some of us remember when it was just the bands, the singer, and a producer who were involved in the making of one. However, in the ‘50s and ‘60s, chart-topping hits that were written by people and that the bands themselves didn’t have a hand in writing at all was commonplace. In America, Elvis Presley and the Monkees didn’t pen their own material (or at least most of it), and the public didn’t care. For a fictional dramedy about that time period, I recommend the Alison Anders-directed film Grace of My Heart, which feels entirely believable to me following my experience as in the music business.

Graham Gouldman is an English musician best known for his work with 10cc, responsible for the cloying 1975 hit ‘I’m Not in Love’ that Gouldman cowrote. What I did not know until I started digging around to write this analysis was that he wrote one of my favorite songs ever. Perhaps even more surprising is that his own father, Hyme Gouldman, a playwright, started the song for him that led to The Hollies’ first hit in America.

Title: ‘Bus Stop’
Where to find it: ‘Bus Stop’ single (1966, Parlophone)
Performed by: The Hollies
Words by: Graham and Hyme Gouldman (credited to Graham Gouldman)

Verse 1
Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine

“Chorus” 1
Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she’d shopped and she would show me what she bought
Other people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

Verse 2
That’s the way the whole thing started
Silly but it’s true
Thinkin’ of a sweet romance
Beginning in a queue

Came the sun the ice was melting
No more sheltering now
Nice to think that that umbrella
Led me to a vow

“Chorus” 2
Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she’d shopped and she would show me what she bought
Other people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

Verse 3
Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine

I consider ‘Bus Stop’ one of the finest examples of quintessentially English ‘60s pop. I say it’s *English* pop because of the words chosen and its reflective mood. Where else would it raining so frequently to necessitate our hero to be carrying an umbrella with him all the time? In summer, we’re told “wind and rain and shine”, that poor brolly was equally “enjoyed” and “employed”. Graham Gouldman was born in Broughton, Salford, greater Manchester – that’s the North West of England for non-Brits reading this – so he was certainly a lad who knew something about rain. A song like this would not have been written in America. I can’t imagine someone at the Brill Building in New York coming up with this. We go through all four seasons in this song, so it couldn’t have come from Los Angeles, either. Notice, too, that the minor key throughout, including that observed on the guitar line, has an Indian influence, likely nicked from and aping the style of the Beatles’ ‘Norwegian Wood’ and the Byrds’ ‘Eight Miles High’ popular at the time.

It’s pop that’s super easy to sing along to. Most of the words here are one syllable, handily adding syncopation through the vocals. However, this isn’t pop in the way you might think of it if you used the Archies’ ‘Sugar Sugar’ as the gold standard template for bubblegum pop. I’ve noted the two interloper sections of text as chorus in quotations, as these sections aren’t choruses in the conventional sense. They’re not the kind of chorus you would jump up and down at a show to sing or scream along to. We’re used to thinking of choruses as the parts that have less finesse because they have to be repeated multiple times throughout a song.

What does Gouldman do with these faux choruses? Something amazing. The notes twirl in the air to convey our hero’s enchantment with his girl. He’s on cloud nine, and he’s taken us with him. We might not have shouted these words back at the Hollies at one of their concerts, but for sure, the emotion comes across in spades. The emotion swells further because guitarists Graham Nash and Vic Steele join in with lead singer Allan Clarke to deliver awe-inspiring harmonies. Nash would, of course, soon move on to form Crosby, Stills, and Nash, another group who would be known for their gorgeous harmonies.

You know that feeling of being in love? Well, folks, he just hit you with it right there, too. “Someday my name and hers are going to be the same”: this was back in the days when double-barreled last names and the idea that women could keep their maiden names (good heavens!) weren’t even considered. It is one of the sweetest sentiments in pop music, that he’s thinking one day he’s going to make her his wife. Bonus: The long-suffering brolly gets thanked for his role in this: “Nice to think that that umbrella / led me to a vow”.

I am a child of the American suburbs, where you needed and still need a car to get around. The idea of romanticizing a ‘Bus Stop’ was lost on me until I started traveling in Britain and in Europe. You can wait and spend a lot of time a bus stop, and I can believe that people could meet their mates while waiting for a bus to show up. Maybe I should wait for more buses!

Lastly, a live performance of the song by the Hollies, in which some of them are sporting those godawful frilly tie-fluff things that would eventually open the door to the ‘70s frilly shirt. Ack! At least the music is good!